Every time I play with passion, I start breaking strings.

In a world of audio and visual over-stimulation, it’s hard to focus on…well, anything. With a constant barrage of myspace friend requests from bands (about 10 a day) it’s hard to find anything worth listening to. As a musician, I feel it’s only fair to at least give each of those bands a shot. They took the time to write and record these songs, post them to the ‘space, and hope someone hears it and actually likes it. Every single request I get, I go to those bands’ pages and listen to at least one song. 9 times out of 10, I get first-chorus deep, and click the little “x” on the page tab. There’s just so much mindless, meaningless bullshit. It’s all the same cookie-cutter nonsense. I think the only reason I waste my time on it is because I’m a musician myself. I expect the same respect I give.

When I was 17, I was excited about most music. Though when I was 17, I suppose most things were pretty exciting. Things still held promise for me. Life after high school was supposed to be great. Turning 18 meant I was a man. I could make my own decisions. Drinking was always such a thrill. Smoking a bowl after work, coming home, and trying to act sober until I made it behind my closed bedroom door was exciting. Then I graduated, turned 18, and thought I was a man. I tried to take on the world. I had no respect for anything or anyone. I was the shit, and I knew it. I did whatever I wanted. Then the world pushed back and fucked me up. Turns out, being able to vote and not having a curfew doesn’t make you a man. Drinking and drugs suddenly have consequences other than your parents grounding you. You don’t just wake up one day and magically have your shit figured out. Most of life is bullshit, and you have to wade through it until you die. There’s little moments of awesome that make up for it, though. Unfortunately, the ratio of awesome moments to bullshit is probably about 1:100. That being said, the ratio of awesome bands to bullshit is probably about the same (a-ha! Back on topic!). I’ve grown out of a lot of the music and bands that I used to listen to with such fervor. A big part of that is as those bands were also growing and changing, it was not in a way I agreed with. However, that band that has stuck with me the most over the years (at least so far) is Thrice.

The first thrice song I ever heard was “Artist in the Ambulance.” Yes, it’s a great song. Yes, it’s meaningful. Yes, it’s catchy. Yes, it’s also a lot like everything else that was happening in rock music then. For example, here’s a mixed CD I probably would have made in 2004:

Thrice-Artist in the Ambulance

The Used-Maybe Memories

Hawthorne Heights-Ohio is For Lovers

Senses Fail-One Eight Seven

Finch-Letters to You

Taking Back Sunday-You’re So Last Summer

Brand New-Seventy Seven Time Seven (or whatever the fuck that song is called)

Etc. etc. etc. You get the point.

This CD would have had some witty or clever title -mostly wordplay or puns- that would have had nothing to do with the actual content of the CD. This CD would have lived with me, been played in whatever car I was in going where ever, for probably about a month. Then I would have made another one with similar songs from similar artists.

Thrice, however, always seemed to frequent these mixed CDs more than any other band. There was just something about Thrice. Dustin’s voice…Teppei’s leads…Ed and Riley’s ridiculously tight rhythm section…it always struck a chord with me (wordplay!). I was always into them, but never as obsessed as my peers. Thrice always intrigued me. After I had played Artist in the Ambulance to death, I got my hands…nay, cursor, on digital copies of their earlier releases Illusion of Safety, Identity Crisis, and even the rare First Impressions (thanks for that one, Jeff). When Vheissu came out, it didn’t initially impress me. I reverted back to Illusion of Safety. Songs like “Trust” “The Red Death” and mosh pit favorite “Deadbolt” always left me wanting more, like I should be working harder to get where I wanted to be. The problem was, I didn’t know where I wanted to be. I was living in a beautiful city full of life, and I wanted no part of it. I had no friends where I was, and those back in my hometown had abandoned me. I was going to school that was way too uppity for me. The students were too high strung. I was surrounded in stress. I was supposed to be doing something I loved, and I wasn’t. Thrice’s Illusion showed me that it was okay to be pissed off. Everything was fucked up and backasswards and I wasn’t the one going crazy, it was the world around me. At least that’s the way 2006, 19 year-old me felt, and 2002 Thrice felt the same.

Vheissu grew on me over the years, and “The Earth will Shake” has become one of my favorite songs of all time. It’s in the top 10 of my top 100 songs. The entire album is a beautiful and heart-wrenching experience, and will always be a staple in my music collection. Vheissu showed me there’s a much bigger world out there full of wrong and injustice, and those with heart should stand up and do something about it.

In 2007 and 2008, Thrice released The Alchemy Index, four 6-song EP’s released two at a time. Each EP represent the different elements of verve; Water, Fire, Air, and Earth. The Index was everything I ever wanted to hear. It was musicians pushing limits, defining what it meant to be an artist, and redefining everything I thought I knew about music. Index made me want to be a better person and a better musician. It made me want to grab hold of those close to me and tell them I loved them.

If The Alchemy Index were all just pieces to a puzzle, Thrice’s 2009 release Beggars is all those pieces put back together. Beggars is just as soulful as everything else Thrice has ever done, it’s just as edgy, it’s just as catchy, it’s just as meaningful, and it’s just as relevant. In my opinion, Thrice is my generation’s Beatles. In their early career, they were just kids writing good songs and having fun. 11 years later, they’ve made a difference, broke new ground, changed (and probably saved) lives. Thrice has a message of hope, love, and understanding.

Water on the moon?

http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/space/10/09/probe.moon.crash/index.html






....unbelievable.

this is probably one of the most amazing things i've ever seen.

...to awake and avenge the dead

I keep having these dreams about zombies. In these dreams, I'm always with a group of people I do not know. No one I do know is ever in these dreams. I always wake up before I get killed or anything really bad happens to me (other than....you know...a zombie apocalypse). In these dreams, I'm always armed, be it a shotgun, a rifle, a pistol, sometimes melee weapons, like machetes, clubs, and one particularly strange dream where a rather large group of people and myself were trapped in a amusement park and I was using a claw hammer and a crescent wrench to defend myself. Always in my dreams, the zombies are fast, agile, and strong, like the zombies in Dawn of the Dead (which is completely opposite to how I think zombies would actually behave). In that amusement park dream, the zombies all looked sort of like wookies, but shorter. Also in these dreams, the thing I find most peculiar is that I'm never scared. I'm always the leader of the group, and I always know what I'm doing. I never have any trouble making decisions, and I just...react. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm going to do, I just do it.

All of these things are the complete opposite of the way I think I would behave. If everyone I knew was gone, I would probably just give up. I'm not trained with any weapon or in an martial art, and would probably not be able to wield a baseball bat the way I do in these dreams. I almost always spend WAY too much time thinking about any decision I have to make. I would be an emotional wreck, and no use to any one, much less LEADING a group of people.

All this confidence I have is 4 out of 5 times just an act. I'm incredibly insecure, but it's not something I often admit to. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. The "me" in these dreams is never ME. There is no way in hell I could eviscerate a zombie with a hacksaw in one motion while he's flying through the air, jumping over me. I can't reload a shotgun fast enough to be ready for the next wave of zombies, much less be able to accurately and consistently shoot them in the head while they're running.

Yes, I will admit, I've done my fair share of zombie research. Go ahead, laugh. It's hard to do research when there's no factual evidence. I have seen plenty of zombie movies. I've read books. I've played video games. If and when a zombie-LIKE apocalypse happened, I would be intellectually ready for it. I know what I would need to survive. I know what I would need to do to survive. I know that zombies, scary as they are, are still only human. They can't sprint for miles and miles and miles. They can't jump ten feet in the air. They have the same physical limits that I do. Except they can "live" without food or water because they're already dead. The biggest difference between me and a zombie (other than the fact that I don't try to eat people) is I still have full use of my brain. I know that when this apocalypse happens, I could survive. I know how. But there's a HUGE difference in knowing how to do something, and actually being able to do it. There's no way I could emotionally handle the stress of that situation, plus having to deal with the fact that everyone I've ever known or ever loved is either dead or wants to eat my face off.

Anyway, I guess my point is that I really don't understand why I keep having these dreams or why I act the way I do in them.

Jon Lajoie FTW

Ready, Fire, Aim

Fighting has been apart of human life as long as...well, human life. It was first developed into a competition with the Olympics...so, I guess since the beginning of civilization. In the early 20th century, boxing started growing as a sport in the US. With advances in media, came advances in everything else. Boxing EXPLODED in the early 1960's, in part because of media, and in part because of characters like Muhammad Ali (who I can't believe is still alive...). Ali also changed boxing. It was no longer about power. It wasn't about hitting each other as hard as you can, and blocking as much as you can. Ali relied almost entirely on speed to avoid hits. He would just let his opponents wear themselves down, and then hit them once or twice for a knock out. Ali changed the game entirely.

Wrestling sort of turned into a joke with the creation of the World Wrestling Federation, but was still an extremely popular form of entertainment, because at that point, it was more acting than it was a sport.

Mix martial arts competitions date back to the early 1900's in Europe and Japan. The idea of MMA was popularized by Bruce Lee and Jeet Kune Do. Bruce said "the best fighter is not a boxer, karate, or judo man. The best fighter is someone who can adapt to any style."

In 1993, the first Ultimate Fighting Championship held it's first MMA tournament. UFC 1 was held to find the world's best fighters regardless of their style. The tournament had no weight classes, and the fights had no time limits. Fights only ended in submission, knock out, or giving up. There were very few rules, mostly just no biting and no eye-gouging. The fight showcased Savate, Sumo, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Wrestling, Boxing, Kickboxing, Kung Fu, and Aikido fighting styles. Royce Gracie of brazil, a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) black belt, won the tournament, defeating American wrestler Ken Shamrock, American boxer Art Jimmerson, and France's Savate world champion, Gerard Gordeau. Royce Gracie won all three fights in under three minutes, all by submission.

However, because the event was so violent, and had so few rules, the UFC was forced underground after UFC 1. Eventually, the UFC re-emerged with Dana White as it's president, with stricter rules, and was more socially and politically excepted as a legit sporting event. After a few events, it was clear the the UFC was the evolution of fighting competition.

With the creation of the reality TV show, The Ultimate Fighter, in which contestants fight their way to a UFC contract, MMA and the UFC has become even more accessible to...well, everyone. Ultimate Fighter gives the world a chance to look inside these fighters lives, see the way they train, how hard they work and to get to know them. Of course there's other reality TV shows that do the same thing with OTHER entertainers...American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent, etc etc etc...but what, I ask you, ever became of the winners of those competitions? Or even the losers, for that matter. Oh sure, Kelly Clarkeson and Carrie Underwood still have successful careers, but what happened to Ruben? Or Fantasia? Jordin Sparks? David Cook? Kris Allen? Sure, David Cook is touring, playing summer fairs. But that's where artists go to die. It's like a last-ditch effort at a failing career. ANYWAY, what happened to those people? I know what happened. Nothing.

The Ultimate Fighter winners, however, still have a career. So do a lot of the losers as well. Season 1 winner, Diego Sanchez, holds a record of 21-2 and is going for a lightweight title shot against BJ Penn in December of this year. Kenny Florian, who LOST to Sanchez on the season 1 finale, holds a professional record of 11-4, and last month lost a fight to BJ Penn trying to get the lightweight belt. Rashad Evans, winner of season 2 for the heavyweights, is now fighting in the light heavyweight class, and last year took Forrest Griffin's (of Season 1) light heavyweight belt (but then lost it to Lyoto Machida). Keith Jardine of season 2 (who didn't even make it to the finals on the show) holds a record of 14-6-1 and has defeated UFC greats Forrest Griffin, Brandon Vera, and Chuck Liddell. Joe Stevenson of season 2 holds a record of 30-10, and is fighting at UFC 104 next month. And these are all just fighters from the first 2 seasons of the Ultimate Fighter. I could go on for days.

ANYWAY...UFC fighters are easy to identify with. They're just regular people. They're not untouchable super stars like wrestler Hulk Hogan or boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. They're not weird fictitious characters like wrestlers Sting and Kane and the Undertaker. UFC fighters are just average people who have dedicated their lives to mixed martial arts. They're just like you or me.

This accessibility has become increasingly more apparent. Go to any sports bar on a fight night, and you'll see all kinds of people. You'll see legit fight fans who can't afford the PPV prices. You'll see people who are just there for the drink specials, but end up watching the fight anyway. You'll find jocks, nerds, bros, scene kids, and...most importantly, chicks. Yes, real live women who are actually FANS of the UFC and it's fighters. Why? Because these fighters are real people. We've seen them cry. We've seen them drunk. We've seen them bleed, sweat, swear, happy, sad, pissed off. We feel like we know these fighters, because they're just like us. We can relate to them. What the hell do you have in common with Mike Tyson? Maybe a lot, but there's no way to know that. He hasn't let you into his life the way Forrest Griffin has. They could walk in and sit down and watch the fight with us, and they'd be just like everyone else there.

The UFC is for everyone. Watch a Chuck Liddell fight, as well as the pre- and post-fight interviews. You'll probably hate him for his arrogance just like everyone else does. But after watching him fight, god damn it, you'll respect him.

The popularity of the UFC has also changed fashion (for that market at least). Instead of Bros wearing Hurley or Element or Vans tshirts and hats, now they're wearing Tapout, One More Round, and Bad Boy. Then there's shit like Affliction and Ed Hardy, which seems to be the uniform for douche bags. People wear this stuff because that's who sponsored Anderson Silva, or Georges St Pierre. The UFC made it okay for white people to wear Ecko Unltd. Instead of HUGE kotton mouth kings stickers on raised bro-trucks, it's a huge Tapout sticker. Things are changing, but...not very much. The art and style of this stuff is all the same as before, but it just has different words. The guys that wore spitfire or FMF gear in high school are now wearing Dethrone, or Silverstar. It's all the same, really. But instead of skateboarding or motocross gear, it's fight gear. Instead of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4,306, game developers made UFC Undisputed 2009.

I guess my point is, that, unfortunately, just like extreme sports, fighting and the UFC is just a fad. Something else will come along, and if you're still wearing Tapout instead of a Extreme Bass Fishing (which would of course be EBF...not to be confused with XBF, or Extreme Butt Fucking) tshirt, you're not cool. If you're excited about UFC 234 and not FCFR (Full Contact Foot Racing) 36, you're not cool.

Fighting is what these athletes do. They are fighters, first and foremost. It's not about entertaining. Matt Huges and Matt Serra still would have beat the shit out of each other if there was only 10 people there watching. Do you think Triple H would have wrestled Randy Savage if there weren't 300,000 people in attendance, not to mention the millions of people watching at home? FUCK. NO. Would Def Leppard have kept making records without the promise of fame? nope. They were about the lifestyle, not the music. Just how pro wrestlers are about the lifestyle, not the fights. Brock Lesner made the transition from WWF to UFC and was successful. He won the heavyweight belt from Frank Mir in his 3rd fight. Now, there's no doubt that Lesner beat Mir, but I don't feel he even earned that fight. Most Fighters have to win at least 10 fights to even be considered for a title fight. Here's this giant asshole with stupid fucking tattoos getting a title shot three fights into his mma career...and well...he wins.

I think that as soon as Dana White starts giving people contracts to get ratings, as soon as he gives a contract to a clown over someone who deserves it, that'll be the end of the UFC. It'll lose all meaning, all it's legit hardcore fans, and it's days will be numbered, just like everything else.

But until Dana makes that mistake, I say fight on.

tttthhhhheeee sun'll come out tomorrow....

coming tomorrow...a blog about mixed martial arts, the ultimate fighting championship, and it's impact on society. or at least how i see it.

I never said I had a business mind, I just don't believe that quitting time exsists.

"I ain't waiting, I'm patiently persevering, I see greatness in the person in the mirror very clearly, and that's why I take this seriously."

This whole band thing isn't easy. It's hard enough when all the members are on board, but I feel like we're fighting inward just to get anything done. I have to beg half the band to play shows, and the other half can never make it to them. I also feel like Ryan and I are the only proactive ones. Ryan works his fucking ass off mixing this record, and I spend 90% of whatever time I have booking us shows, working on graphic design, and trying to establish a fan base. I hate depending on other people, and the fact that I have to depend on other people to be able to do what I want to do doesn't sit well with me. But, it's part of being in a band. I have to be able to rely on these people....but sometimes it seems like I can't.

Leila is trying to step up and get things done, and seeing as how she's the face of the band, I understand that people think they should go through her if they want to get shit done...but, well, frankly, it doesn't work that way. She may be the face, but she's not the brain. As far as I'm concerned, Ryan and I are in charge. We run the show. We put everything together, we make everything happen, and if Leila wants to be part of that, she needs to communicate and tell us what's going on. I had NO idea that some dude wants to use our music in a short film until today when I get a text asking, nay, TELLING me to email 3 specific songs to said dude. Of course I didn't. These songs aren't ready for official release yet. They're still just demos.

Not even to mention we haven't SEEN any of the film...not a single scene, nothing. By letting him use our music, we're essentially endorsing the film, putting our name on it, making people think of us when they hear our music watching this film. It could be a total piece of shit. I'm not putting our name on something I know NOTHING about. It's bad business.

And that seems to be the biggest component missing from One Way Fare. Professionalism. Ryan and I are the only ones treating it like it's a business...like this is our job. Because...well, it is. Sure, I'm a chef, and he's a AV engineer, but we're musicians first and foremost. And if that's what we want to start paying the bills, we have to treat it as such. Contrary to how it may seem, this is not a 'weekend' thing. This is what we do.

Sorry, just venting, I guess.

The water line is rising, and all we do is stand there.

My limbs tied down by these weeds

I've had a pretty crazy weekend.

On Saturday, my band One Way Fare (myspace.com/onewayfaremusic) played a show at the AV fair. I had SO much fun. That was probably the best show we've ever played. Everybody was pretty solid and tight, and everything sounded good. We had a really good turn out (thank god...I worked my ass off promoting it, and if no one would have showed, that would have been reeeeeally shitty) and it was awesome to see all my friends and family there.

On Sunday, Helen and I went to the last day of the 15th Vans Warped Tour. The different kinds of people that come to these things always amaze me. This was the 3rd Warped Tour show I've been too, and every time, I always say that I'm not gonna go back. It's not that Warped Tour sucks, or that it's too commercial, or whatever whatever whatever. It's just...too effing hot. I would love Warped Tour if it say...started in August and ended in October. But oh well.

This year, I didn't really want to go because there was only two bands (being Thrice and Underoath) that I really wanted to see, and shelling out 40 bucks BEFORE ticketmaster service fees wasn't really worth it to me. So Helen and I decided against going to the Ventura date that was at the end of June (btw, the three Warped dates I've been to, Ventura was the best, simply because of the venue) mostly because of money. Helen has gone to warped tour every year for the past 7 or 8 years, so she was really bummed about missing out on this one. Anyway, a friend of Helen's or a friend of a friend...I don't really know...works for some radio station, and asked Helen if she wanted free tickets to the LA date at the end of August, and of course she said yes. (how could you say no to anything that has "free" in front of it?) So we ended up leaving late because breakfast took longer than expected, and got there about an hour after it started. We missed Underoath by about an hour. We The Kings played, and they're...okay. Entertaining at least. I saw a band I've never heard of before called There For Tomorrow, and I really enjoyed them.

Then we went and got over-priced lunch, and went to watch Thrice. This was only the second time I've seen Thrice, and they we're amazing. I saw them open for Alkaline Trio and Rise Against last fall, and was completely blown away. I've always been a fan of Thrice, but never really went out of my way to see them, but that show was just awesome. I missed them at Bamboozle earlier this year. I caught the last 45 seconds of "The Earth Will Shake." So when I was able to see them at Warped this year, I was pretty stoked. They played a couple songs from their new album and those gave me the chills. Their whole set did, really. They played a cover of the Beatles "Helter Skelter" but stopped in the middle of it, because two dudes were fighting. So Dustin called them idiots and told them to stop ruining it for everyone else. After that, they closed with "The Earth Will Shake." After Thrice played, we caught the last couple songs of Streetlight Manifesto's set. Those guys are always entertaining.

After that, I saw (but mostly just heard) Senses Fail. I never had the urge to go see them before, because I've seen plenty of live videos, and...well, frankly, Buddy always sounded like shit, and the whole band was sloppy. Not the case with this show. They were super super tight and Buddy sounded REALLY effing good. After that, we took a break and hung around in the beer garden. I felt much more comfortable there for three major reasons:

1) Shade
2) Somewhere to sit
3) Not ONE single 3oh!3 fan. (funny how that works. an area that's 21+ and there's no 3oh!3 shirts...)

After a beer or two, we went to watch A Day To Remember (the single bro-est band on the earth. even more so than Hollywood Undead). I've been into ADTR since Matt introduced them to me in high school. I went and saw them play at a shitty little club in Victorville with maybe 100 people 4 years ago, and afterwards, hung out and danced to Michael Jackson's greatest hits with them. Last year at Warped Tour, I saw them play on one of the side stages for...maybe 200 people. This year, ADTR played on one of the main stages for a few thousand people. I dunno...it was just weird to me...4 years ago, I'm hanging out with these guys in a shitty club, and now, they're playing for thousands of people fucking daily. I wish they'd played a song or two from their first record, simply so I could have a moment of nostalgia, but oh well. Anyway...good for them.

Then we caught a little bit of Less Than Jake's set. They're always fun. Then Chiodos played. I've always liked Chiodos, and I'm impressed by what they do. I was really into their first album when I first heard it in...2006ish? I think? somewhere around there. Might've been 2007. Anyway, Bone Palace Ballet came out, and I didn't really get into it. They were pretty good I guess. Entertaining at least. Their keyboard player kinda weirds me out though.

After Chiodos, we called it a day. I didn't have much of a desire to see NOFX and I'd rather gouge my eyes out than watch 3oh!3. Last year, I saw almost 2 songs of their set and it's really something I'd rather not take part in.

Anyway, Helen and I forgot sunblock. I hurt. fuuuuuck. haha. but the moral of this story is...Thrice owns.

It keeps me warm, and makes you smile

Sorry about the last couple posts. I shouldn't drink and blog. I'll try and keep the rest of my posts somewhat intelligent.

Got a show tomorrow. Trying to make a bigger deal of it then it is. It's tiring business. It's also dangerous business stepping out your front door.

Not much to say...but I'll let you know how the show goes.

there's blood on my hands like the blood in you

God damn, I said god damn.

Monday was my 22nd birthday. Had a pretty eventful weekend. Let's recap, yes?

On Sunday, Helen and I drove down to Olvera Street and had some delicious grub for lunch. We then drove to the hotel we'd be staying at in downtown, the Westin Bonaventure, and checked in. Then we walked to a movie theater at watched Funny People. Good movie. Not anyone's best, but it was still good. Then we walked back to our hotel and went to the Brewery in the hotel where I had a mediocre pale ale. Then we went upstairs, changed into dinner appropriate attire, and went the the 35th floor for dinner at L.A. Prime. Supposedly, L.A. Prime had LA's best steak. yeeeeah, not so much. We had a foie gras appetizer, and then ridiculously large pieces of meat as the entree. Helen had a 220z new york strip. I had a 24oz bone-in rib eye. Unfortunately, ALL the fat was trimmed off my steak. what. the. fuck. That's the whole POINT of a rib eye. Helen's new york was much better than my steak. We had potato gratin and some spinach sides. The potatoes were fucking tasty. The spinach? not so much. No seasoning to be found. But I was seriously disappointed in the steak. Oh well. It was a fun experience anyway. The foie gras totally made up for everything else. Being too full to do much of anything else, Helen and I then went to bed.

The next morning, we woke up way too early, simply out of habit, and could not go back to sleep. We decided to go to the cafe at CSCA for breakfast. So we drive from downtown to Pasadena, and the cafe was closed for student orientation. So we walk a few blocks down the street to this little mexican cafe I used to eat at a lot...and that too was closed. Not a good start so far. So we walked back to where the car was parked, and decided to eat at the White Hut across the street from the school cafe. We had cheeseburgers for breakfast. We decided to go to the museum of tolerance, since neither of us had been, so we drove back to LA. The museum was great. However, I would advise against going there on your birthday. I already knew all the facts, and I knew what I was getting into, but still, it's depressing. Then we went to the bank, and ironically enough, 3 Jewish people walked in. haha. aaaaanyway, there was a fruit cart outside the bank so we got some watermelon and some nowhere-near-ripe mangos. There's this pirate themed restaurant on wilshire near miracle mile called Crazy Hook that we had planned on going to for lunch. We got there around 2, only to discover they didn't open til 5. AWESOME. So we drove to Venice and spent the afternoon browsing cheap jewelry, ridiculous tshirts, eating pizza, and drinking beer. We figured we'd better start heading home. We didn't hit the road til 5 (why's it called rush hour when everyone drives so slow?) and got back in the AV around 7. We met my parents at Giovanni's for dinner where helen and i shared a tasty-as-fuck calzone and a chocolate eclair with a birthday candle stuck in it. Then we went home and passed the fuck out.

Anyway, I had a good birthday, pretty much just ate for two days. I hope we walked some of it off at Venice, but I doubt it. haha.

You're Ever so Inviting

I don't know what changed for me, but I just fell in love with underoath.

No revelations in the water, no tears in the booze.

Three beers in about 15 minutes. Let's see what happens.

wait, hold on. i gotta clean the griddle that i shoved in the oven real quick.

okay.

so...the other day, jeff and i were watching old hi-8 videos of a band we used to be in.
hold on. let me clarify a few things here.

First of all, jeff collier is a very very dear friend of mine. he's a great friend and he's always been there when i've needed him. he is incredibly talented, and is playing a major role in the album my current band (that he is not in...but was for a little while about two years ago...) is making. there is no person on this earth i would rather be working with on this album. jeff and i first met in our high school freshmen PE class. we both played guitar and had similar tastes in music. sophomore year, jeff had a birthday party at his parent's house. we spent the day swimming, eating, playing music, listening to music, and just...being awesome. at some point, we decided we should start a band. he would play guitar, i would play bass, and we'd find a drummer. our friend ian was the only drummer we knew, so we asked him. the three of us jammed once, and that was the end of that. then, our friend matt leone picked up the bass, and jeff and i played gutiar. it was decided that my brother, morgan, was going to sing. the first "practice" we had was in jeff's parent's living room. me, matt, jeff, and morgan. no drums. we painfully worked our way through a few cover songs and called it a day. sometime during the beginning of junior year, nathan kracke, who didn't really know at all at the time, was playing drums with penicls on his desk during home room. jeff asked him if he could play drums. i think he said something like "maybe" or "i could figure it out" and went out and bought a drum kit. two days later, he was in the band. so morgan was singing, jeff and i on guitar, matt on bass, nathan on drums. we wrote a couple jams, cover a few tunes, and played a couple parties. matt starting getting into the pathetic music scene that was "avhxc" and started playing with a beautiful elegy. we "let him go." jeff moved to bass, and we started writing new songs. we played a few more parties, then morgan left the band. jeff and i started singing...if you could call it that...and we pressed on. we played a few more parties...a couple showcase gigs...and started recording. some of our songs were actually really fucking cool, even in retrospect. anyway...jeff joined a metalcore band...and apparently kracke didn't want to play with me anymore. that was never really addressed. anyway, the band broke up. about a year later, kracke called me up, asking if i wanted to play bass in this band he was in with leila (my current singer) and these two dudes, dave and joe, that i hadn't met before. there was sort of an informal audition, and i was in the band. i was frustrated with the way things were moving with that band (that is, not at all) and conveyed my frustrations time and time again, to no avail. i convinced kracke and leila that we should do our own thing. so we did. i'm pretty sure joe still hates me for it, but dave is cool now. so i was on guitar, leila singing, and kracke playing drums. my cousin ryan joined the band on guitar, and we started writing like crazy. we got a couple shows booked, but had no bass player. our friend alex filled in for the first few shows, but could no longer do it. the band jeff was in broke up, and he sort of asked/sort of told us that he was our bass player now. i couldn't be happier. i was glad to be playing with him again. a few months later, he grew frustrated and wanted to start his own studio. so he quit the band and did just that. matt leone was our next bass player. we later recorded a demo at jeff's studio. then some shit went down, and matt left the band. shortly after that, kracke quit. i was frustrated and whatever whatever. nick griffith then joined the band on bass...a sort of friend of a friend. then gabe martinez joined the band on drums, and things started rolling again. we won battle of the bands last fall, and started recording a full length about a month ago, with jeff engineering and co-producing the album.

so...that was a "abbreviated" version of my music "career" thus far. ANYWAY.

jeff and i were watching these videos of us when we were 17...and my god, were we awful. i mean, seriously, we were terrible. always off time, out of key...just awful.
watching those videos was fun, and brought back good memories, but listening was just painful. i was really having a hard time. jeff reassured me (several times) that i've gotten much better...and i sincerely hope so. i've worked really really hard at what i do, and if it's all for nothing...well, i don't know what i'd do. so...i've made a promise to myself...and that is to never ever ever be that terrible again.

When I finally get the color, there won't be nothin' left to paint on.

Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.
When busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still life.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines. (Oh, you won't catch me around here)
Blood and tears,
They were here first.

Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah of course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.

-"Hide and Seek," Imogen Heap

You're going mad. Perhaps you always were, but when things was good you just didn't care.

I've been listening to The Streets all morning. Michael Skinner is one of the greatest MC's of this decade. It's hard for me to pigeon-hole The Streets. It stands somewhere between Indie, Electronica, Hip-Hop, and R&B. Some would call it intelligent dance music (IDM), which, personally, I think is a giant pile of bullshit. Not to say that The Streets ISN'T intelligent, or that you CAN'T dance to it...because, well, it IS intelligent, and you CAN dance to it.

I guess what I'm saying, is that IDM, as a genere, is fucking bullshit. What makes it more intelligent than anything else? Hold on, let's back up.

First, let's define dance music, as a genere. Dance music is comprised with the sole intention to facilitate dancing. Right on. Eventually, there was electronic dance music (EDM). Okay. I don't think I need to define EDM, but I will give a few examples...trance, house, disco, and rave music. Get the picture?

So, what exactly is IDM? Why is it more intelligent than trance or house? Apparently, it's because IDM is experimental. Please tell me, what ISN'T experimental? Really, think about it. Blues was experimental way back when. People were still figuring it out...experimenting. Same with classical, hundreds of years ago. Anything new is experimental.

Don't get me wrong. If it wasn't for experimenting, we'd still be living in caves and clubbing chicks over the head to get laid. I honestly feel that the arts, more specifically, music, has furthered human evolution and civilization more than any other contributing factor. But that's another blog for another day. Anyway, I absolutely love anything that pushes against boundaries or definitions, or uses abnormal, new, irregular, unique elements. It's the only way to further ourselves as intelligent beings. It's the only way for new things to be discovered.

So, to bring this blog full circle, "let's push things forward." -Michael Skinner.

fiiiirst blog

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there." -Mike Skinner

Point being, there's not really any point to this blog, and I can't even promise that I'll keep it updated. Anyway, I guess I could start out by saying a few things about myself.

Name: Peter
Age: 21
Location: Southern California

I attended Culinary school, and essentially dropped out 3 credits shy of getting my degree. There was a reason of course, but nothing we'll go into now. I may not have a piece of paper that says I'm a chef, but...well, I am. I received the same training and worked just as hard. I've paid my dues, and (yes it IS just a title, but) I AM a chef. I'm a half-assed guitar player (myspace.com/onewayfaremusic <-that's my band), a half-assed artist, and a full time critic. I'm super judgmental and opinionated. Not about people, but about EVERYTHING, really. movies, music, food, TV, literature, whatever whatever. I was recently hired by a company called Volt to be a QA tester for Activision/Blizzard. I live with my girlfriend, Helen, and her two children, Joseph (age 9) and Alexis (age 4). We live in a apartment in Lancaster. Helen works for Starwood Hotels and Resorts as a sales associate.

I guess this is a decent start. I'm sure most of my blogs in the future will be me complaining about things. So get used to it.