...to awake and avenge the dead

I keep having these dreams about zombies. In these dreams, I'm always with a group of people I do not know. No one I do know is ever in these dreams. I always wake up before I get killed or anything really bad happens to me (other than....you know...a zombie apocalypse). In these dreams, I'm always armed, be it a shotgun, a rifle, a pistol, sometimes melee weapons, like machetes, clubs, and one particularly strange dream where a rather large group of people and myself were trapped in a amusement park and I was using a claw hammer and a crescent wrench to defend myself. Always in my dreams, the zombies are fast, agile, and strong, like the zombies in Dawn of the Dead (which is completely opposite to how I think zombies would actually behave). In that amusement park dream, the zombies all looked sort of like wookies, but shorter. Also in these dreams, the thing I find most peculiar is that I'm never scared. I'm always the leader of the group, and I always know what I'm doing. I never have any trouble making decisions, and I just...react. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm going to do, I just do it.

All of these things are the complete opposite of the way I think I would behave. If everyone I knew was gone, I would probably just give up. I'm not trained with any weapon or in an martial art, and would probably not be able to wield a baseball bat the way I do in these dreams. I almost always spend WAY too much time thinking about any decision I have to make. I would be an emotional wreck, and no use to any one, much less LEADING a group of people.

All this confidence I have is 4 out of 5 times just an act. I'm incredibly insecure, but it's not something I often admit to. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. The "me" in these dreams is never ME. There is no way in hell I could eviscerate a zombie with a hacksaw in one motion while he's flying through the air, jumping over me. I can't reload a shotgun fast enough to be ready for the next wave of zombies, much less be able to accurately and consistently shoot them in the head while they're running.

Yes, I will admit, I've done my fair share of zombie research. Go ahead, laugh. It's hard to do research when there's no factual evidence. I have seen plenty of zombie movies. I've read books. I've played video games. If and when a zombie-LIKE apocalypse happened, I would be intellectually ready for it. I know what I would need to survive. I know what I would need to do to survive. I know that zombies, scary as they are, are still only human. They can't sprint for miles and miles and miles. They can't jump ten feet in the air. They have the same physical limits that I do. Except they can "live" without food or water because they're already dead. The biggest difference between me and a zombie (other than the fact that I don't try to eat people) is I still have full use of my brain. I know that when this apocalypse happens, I could survive. I know how. But there's a HUGE difference in knowing how to do something, and actually being able to do it. There's no way I could emotionally handle the stress of that situation, plus having to deal with the fact that everyone I've ever known or ever loved is either dead or wants to eat my face off.

Anyway, I guess my point is that I really don't understand why I keep having these dreams or why I act the way I do in them.